I could *not (thanks, Ed) care less about politics.
I also don’t give a shit about sports, or guns and weapons, or cars, or … I don’t know. About other things that make me zone out when someone’s trying to have a conversation with me about them. Or about things that force me to feign interest and say things like, “Oh, that’s interesting.” When I clearly do not care.
These are things that are, of course, incredibly important to some people. So important, in fact, that saying you have no interest in them is actually offensive. Some people simply cannot comprehend how you are just not interested in the same things that they are and, as if it will magically make you suddenly find politics and sports and guns and cars the most marvelously fascinating thing in the world, they argue with you about them. They aggressively pursue the subject that you obviously do not give a shit about and think that in 5 minutes of good old fashioned arguing, you will suddenly give a damn.
In a situation like this, rather than being pumped about the argued topic, I tend to feel uncomfortable.
I feel irritated.
I feel like someone is forcing their viewpoints down my throat and is attempting to prove that I am somehow inferior to them simply because I do not care to be interested in the same bullshit that they are.
I assume this is because when I say that I’m not interested, this somehow translates in their mind to “She thinks I’m stupid”. Or, “She thinks that because I am interested in something that she isn’t, it makes me dumb.”
This is, of course, incorrect.
False.
Not true.
When I say I’m not interested, it just means that I don’t find the topic interesting. Fun. Amusing. Worthy of discussion. In fact, I find it bland and something that I just don’t care to partake in. It’s not that I find the subject stupid — it’s just not something that I would bring up on a normal day because I’m not excited about it in the way that someone else might be.
Let’s look at this again by taking, for example, our friends Joe and Sally:
Joe and Sally are going on a date. Sally digs makeup and fashion, but knows that Joe probably isn’t interested in those sort of things. So she asks him what he’s interested in! Joe says, I like politics. Sally, not really knowing anything about politics, admits that she’s not much of a political groupie, but would not be opposed to hearing a little more about it. Joe happily fills her in.
Now, let’s reimagine this situation:
Joe, after hearing that Sally doesn’t know anything about politics, is now completely turned off because, hello, this girl must be an idiot. How can Sally not like politics, he wonders? Is she just in her own little world? Does she not care about anyone but herself? Does she not understand how politics affect her? The idea that someone in this world is not into the same things that he is has now baffled him, and Joe, unable to comprehend this situation, dismisses Sally as stupid and ignorant, and treats her as such because of this.
Joe, Joe, Joe.
Take a breath, Joe.
It’s gonna be alright.
What Joe needs to understand is that in this world, different people are into different things. On this amazing planet full of so many contrasting ideas, it is rare that Joe will find someone that digs exactly what he digs. But this doesn’t mean that because someone disagrees with his ideas, it is his duty to convert this person. In fact, in a situation like this, I’ve found that the easiest way to solve the conflict is to just say, “Fair enough”.
For Joe, and for everyone else who is pissed off because I or someone else don’t like exactly what you like, or is not into exactly what you are into, I suggest that you learn and internalize the phrase, “Fair enough”.
Understand that if I am writing or talking about things that bother you, that you don’t care about, or that you have no interest in? It doesn’t mean that I’m forcing you to read it. I won’t be mad at you because you don’t like my fashion sense, my blog posts, or my Twitter updates. I won’t be pissed off that you’re not into my philosophies or way of living life. In fact, it doesn’t even bother me if you disagree with practically everything I say.
And why?
Because I’m not a Joe.
I’m a Sally.
And while I may not sit around wondering about politics all day, that doesn’t mean I’m not excited to hear about Joe’s passions. As a Sally, what turns me on isn’t the particular subject — it’s how excited Joe gets when he talks about it. How his face lights up when he brings up something he cares about. How enthused he is and eager he might be to include me in it. That is how I become interested in the things that typically don’t matter to me.
From friends to boyfriends to family members, there are tons of things that I never thought I’d dig, but have suddenly become interested in because it was inspiring to me to see how happy it made it other people. Subjects I never would have paid attention to suddenly intrigued me. And all because the people that I liked, the people that I cared about, were genuinely passionate about the subject and in such a positive way.
So, Joe.
How do you get someone interested in the things that you care about?
Be passionate about it. Be positive. Be genuine. Your excitement is sexy and inspiring and just so fucking cute. Sally digs that you are interested in things that she normally would never take a second look at — show her why you love it instead of forcing her to love it too. Don’t be afraid to be who you are, and definitely don’t get defensive or angry because Sally isn’t exactly like you. And in that same vein, don’t pretend to be absolutely enthralled by everything Sally is into. Trust me. She’ll see right through that. And it’s boring! Sally wants to try new things just like you do — so put some excitement in each other’s lives!
Be honest with yourself.
Be honest with each other.
Mellow out, and learn to coexist — people are not as ignorant and stupid as you might think they are. They just haven’t been approached in the right way. So share the love and show them why the things you care about are cool.
Oh, and don’t be such a hater.
People can surprise you. ;)
Respectfully,
XOXO Cheri XOXO
Originally published at HEYCHERI. Please leave any comments there.
